Your safety

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Always remember, in an emergency call 999.

 

Personal safety plan

 

Having a personal safety plan is essential if you or your children are suffering abuse or living in a violent home. In an emergency the single most important factor is your physical safety and the safety of any children you may have. Every person's situation is different, so you may need to take all or only some of these steps.

 

Safety during a violent incident

• if an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area where you can exit quickly and easily. Try to stay away from the bathroom, kitchen, bedroom or anywhere else where weapons might be available
• practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, lifts or stairwell would be best
• have a bag packed ready and keep it at a relatives or friends home in order to leave quickly
• identify one or more neighbours you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home
• devise a codeword to use with your children, family, friends and neighbours when you need them to call the police
• decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you will ever need it)
• use your instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what they want to get them to calm down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger
• always remember – you don't deserve to be hit or threatened

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After a violent incident

• get to a safe place
• call the police
• if your partner injures you, see your doctor or attend hospital as soon as possible
• think about speaking to a police officer from the Community Safety Unit
• consider seeking advice from a solicitor

Preparing to leave

• open a savings account and/or credit card in your name to start to establish or increase your independence. Think of other ways in which you can increase your independence
• get your own post office box. You can privately receive cheques and letters
• leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, medicines, clothes and sentimental items with someone you can trust so you can leave immediately
• determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money
• keep this directory and important contact numbers close at hand and keep some change or a phone card on you at all times for emergency phone calls
• remember – leaving an abuser is the most dangerous time. Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your abuser
  

Safety in the home If you do not live with the abuser or he or she has left the home, it is important that you take some or all of the following steps to stay safe.

 

• consult a solicitor to see if you are able to change the locks on your doors. Buy additional locks and safety devices to secure your windows. Ealing has a Sanctuary Project which can provide a range of security measures to make your home secure. This is a free scheme and referrals can be made by the police, domestic violence advocacy worker, social worker and housing officer
• discuss a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them
• inform the children's school, nursery etc about who has permission to pick up your children
• inform your neighbours and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see them near your home
• get in touch with the local police Community Safety Unit so they can ensure a speedy response to an emergency call from your address

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Safety with a non-molestation/occupation order (injunction) The local courts can grant a non-molestation or occupation order, commonly known as an injunction. This legally orders the abuser not to contact you in an aggressive way either directly or through another person. It also means they have to stay away from your home. Your solicitor can help you put an order in place. Remember to:

 

• keep your injunction with you at all times
• call the police if your partner breaks the injunction
• if you have a solicitor let them know if your partner breaks the injunction
• think of alternative ways of keeping safe if the police do not respond right away
• inform family, friends, neighbours, your doctor or health care worker and the people you work with that you have an injunction

Safety at work and in public

• decide who at work to inform of your situation. This should include office or building security. Provide a picture of your abuser if possible
• arrange to have an answering machine, caller ID or someone you trust to screen calls if possible
• devise a safety plan for when you leave work. Have someone escort you to your car, bus or train and wait with you until you are safely on your way. Use a variety of routes to go home if possible. Think about what you would do if something happened during you journey

Your safety and emotional health

• if you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust
• if you have to communicate with your partner, determine the safest way to do so
• have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs. Read books, articles and poems to help you feel stronger
• decide who you can talk to freely and openly to give you the support you need
• look into joining a group or counselling to gain support from others and to build confidence and self worth
• if you are worried about staying at home alone ask a friend or relative to stay with you

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Safety checklist

• find out what support is available locally (drop in and community groups, counselling or advice sessions)
• keep a diary of all domestic violence incidents
• find somewhere you can quickly and easily use a phone
• make a list of telephone numbers you can carry with you in case of an emergency. Include friends, relatives, the police Community Safety Unit, local police, Refuge helpline. Even well known numbers can be forgotten in a panic
• try to save some money for bus, train or taxi fares
• have an extra set of keys for your home and car
• keep keys, money and sets of clothes for yourself, and your children, packed in a bag and stored at a friend or relative's house
• leave when the abuser is not around
• pack your legal and financial papers, marriage and birth certificates, court orders, national health cards, passports, driving licence, benefit books, address books, bank books, cheque books and credit cards
• take your personal possessions which have sentimental value
• take favourite toys for the children
• take clothing for at least several days
• take any medicine that you might need

If you feel able have a chat with the police Community Safety Unit, call (020) 8246 9617 or (020) 8246 9607 or (020) 8246 9609 and ask them to make a note of the call.